A few of our favorite Charlie Sheen quotes as of late:

I think my passion is misinterpreted as anger sometimes, and I don’t think people are ready for the message I’m delivering…and delivering with a sense of violent love. Don’t mistake this rock star for your own selfish exit strategy, bro. I’ve spent I think close to the last decade, I don’t know, effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold. You’ve been warned dude. Bring it. Defeat is not an option. They’ve picked a fight with a warlock. [I’m winning the war] With zeal, and focus, and violent hatred. You either love or hate. You live in the middle, you get nothing. Epic behavior. Clearly you didn’t bring gum for everyone. [You’re] headed toward Will and Graceville. I’ve always had a plan and always executed it perfectly. Sometimes I overshoot the mark, whatever. (how do you avoid slipping back into that [addiction] again?) I dunno, I just won’t do it. I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written. And it was written for normal people. People who aren’t special. People who don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA. Fools. Trolls. Weak. Defeated. They allowed defeat to be an option. I will not. Duh Winning. Charlie Bros. Team Sheen. When you’ve got tiger blood and Adonis DNA, man, it’s like get with the program dude. You’ve been given magic, you’ve been given gold. I’m done. I’m done. It’s on. Bring it. (Some are saying you’re bi-polar.) Wow, and then what? What’s the cure? Medicine? Make me like them? Not gonna happen. I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there. Now what? Thanks Dr. Loser. The earth is bi-polar. I’m proud of what I’ve created. It was radical. (why would you be proud of that?) Because I exposed people to magic, I exposed them to something they’re never otherwise going to see in their boring normal lives. Fix yourself. Close your eyes. Change your brain. It’s not that complicated. (What do you do all day?) What don’t we do all day? (Are you on any drugs right now?) Ya, I…I…I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available, ‘cause if you try it once you will die, your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. Um…too much. Yes, I drink water through my eyes. Winning! Duh. I got magic and I got poetry at my fingertips. I’m an F-18 bro and I will destroy you in the air and I will deploy my ordinates to the ground. It’s that simple. I’ve been the awe shucks guy with this bitchin’ rock star life and I just gonna finally completely embrace it…wrap both arms around it and love it, violently…and defend it violently through violent hatred. You’re dealing with a Vatican assassin. Sorry. What does that mean you’re wondering? I’m a high priest Vatican assassin warlock. I’m hit-vaun. (And what does that mean?) I don’t know. All those words that sound cool together. It comes from my grand wizard master. I don’t know man. I just…stuff just comes out and it’s entertaining and it’s fun and it sounds different than all the other garbage people are spewing. Ya know? (Are you willing to take a drug test?) Sure, you got a cup? I mean, I got nothin’ to hide. I have billions of fans. (I can't believe the stuff Charlie says) I have one speed, I have one gear, “Go!” (how do you survive that?) Because I’m me. ‘Cause I’m me, I’m different. I just have a different constitution, a different brain, a different heart, ya know I’ve got tiger blood man. Dyin’s for fools. I’m mean…what’s not to love. Especially when you see how I party man, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of ‘em just look like droopy-eyed armless children. I’m alive. Bring it. Look at these sad trolls. Consider the source. Everybody takes THEIR word over mine? Come on, it’s silly. Ambien, hello, Ambien. The devil’s aspirin. Anyone Ambien? Sometimes sleep is for infants. I don’t sleep. I wait. When I can’t sleep, I don’t fight it. I just figure that there’s a higher calling and something is keeping me on point that night. They can’t process me because it doesn’t make sense, because I’m not normal – and THEY’RE normal. People say “You’re the sum of all your parts.” I say B.S. You’re the sum total of what’s going on right now. Bring me Dr. Clownshoes. I’m a peaceful man, with bad intentions. Hel-lo! It’s on. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it’s scary. People say it’s lonely at the top, but I should like the view. Well, look at what they do…look at what I do. Duh! They’re the best at what they do and I’m the best at what I do and together it’s like…it’s on! Sorry middle America. Ya, I said it. Sober Valley Lodge. (what goes on in…) All things beautiful. There’s cleansing. There’s healing. There’s laughter. There’s children. There’s beautiful women and perfect food. We just win. Can I have one little part of my life that’s not, like, TMZ’d up the butt? Top Gun Rock Star. Awesome. (Are there any drugs in this house?) If there are, you’d better find them and give them to me immediately. Ooo, drugs in the house. I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I don’t have time for these clowns. People misinterpret my passion for anger. Fuel the magic. I’m here to collect. Winning…no loosing, sorry guys. Look at me. Duh. Drug test don’t lie. Don’t remember. Don’t care. Drug test don’t lie. Score board doesn’t lie. I closed my eyes and made it so…with the power of my mind. (did you turn to other substances because you were bored?) No, I did that because they work. (work to do what?) Just change the way you see things. Change the way you feel. I woke up and said, “Dude, your 45 with 5 kids. Let’s do something different because this thing is boring. A crisis management center called the Sober Valley Lodge. Its primary client achieved radical success. The gibberish of fools. (Are you embarrassed that your children will read about this someday?) Talk about an education. And they’re like, this? And that’s the guy? And he’s our dad? And we can get all the answers and the truth? Wow! Winning! It’s how you perceive it. You borrow my brain for 5 seconds and just be like, “Dude, can’t handle it. Unplug this bastard.” Because it fires in a way that is, I don’t know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm. (what’s the future for Charlie sheen?) Winning everyday. Defeat not an option. (what will your tombstone say?) Something dot com.